


Oops! All Gals! [Part One]

by VioletBaudeBunni (SugarCherrySundea)



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004), A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-20 22:17:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21064085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarCherrySundea/pseuds/VioletBaudeBunni
Summary: What if there were... six Violets? Like, sextuplets. All born on the same day. All fourteen. All creative geniuses in their own, special, splendid little way. Leading pleasant little lives...Little do they know, that coming their way was a less than pleasant event and a less than pleasant person.But, can he deal with six very smart, ruthless girls?





	1. And Then There Were Six

**Author's Note:**

> Contact me uwu: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/  
Idea came up in the VFDiscord, wild ass place. You should join.
> 
> Multiple different Baudesiblings AU idea originally from Connie/midas_touch_of_angst thanks sis.
> 
> Ty to all of u who helped me figure this shid out. 💕

Within a pleasantly large mansion, in a pleasantly undisclosed location, lived a pleasantly large family of a mother, a father…

And six fourteen-year-old girls.

Yes, there are six of these inventive, creative young teens, each of them wonderful and bright in their own special little way.

These are the Baudelaire sextuplets, parented by Beatrice and Bertrand. They had all the comforts they needed. Every day was a new adventure. A pleasant, happy little adventure.

Sextuplets means that these girls were all born on the same day.

Yes, Mrs. Baudelaire did not have a fun time.

And no, raising these girls was _ not _and easy task.

...At all.

The eldest of them was Violet, the inventor. When she was thinking, she tied her hair up in a ribbon. She was the most sensible one out of all of them, and tried to keep the other girls from getting into any more trouble than they needed to. Violet was known to have a knack for finding, building, fixing, and, well, generally inventing things. A broken toaster? She would fix it in a matter of minutes. A contraption that launched watermelons? For some reason, yes, she built that. Nobody knows why she did it, but she did. Violet was a stressed mess, perhaps overly caring, but was excellent at making tea and being a splendid eldest sextuplet.

Then there was Lilac, the actress, the thespian. Her hair was always kept in neat braids, two small ones to the right side of her face, and one large one at the back. This way, she could always focus on her craft; The theatre. Movies. Plays. The stage was her home. However… this made the girl quite… _ dramatic, _to say the least. She tries to help Violet keep the other girls in line, but her emotions tend to get in the way. Bless her heart. Lilac had already been in a couple of large stage plays set on by their highschool. They were hits because of her. Yes, she did have the leading part for both.

Magenta was the artist of the girls, head in the clouds, a dreamy one. When she was ready to work, her hair would go up in a pastel scrunchie. Her room was constantly a mess of papers, art supplies, sketchbooks, and many other odds and ends. She was as positive as she was sweet. Once, her digital drawing tablet broke, causing her to wail in quiet anguish until Violet was able to fix it for her approximately two hours later. The other girls had never seen poor Magenta in such a state. Well, other than the time she had lost the pen that went to the tablet, which was actually settled on her ear. Magenta had been in plenty of art shows, big and small, and many viewers of her art would call it “cute”, “soft”, and “bubbly”.

Plum, who was _ actually _ April Plum Malina Baudelaire, wanted to be called Plum purely because everyone else thought her middle name was ridiculous, and due to her being a rambunctious, feral girl, she enjoyed the name Plum. So she was Plum to those close to her. She stuck her hair up in a claw hair clip when she was going to indulge in her passion - video games. Plum spent her time playing all kinds of video games, across all kinds of platforms, and talked incessantly about her favorites. Plum also loved to create her own games, and she and her sisters acted as a small independent developing team. Two little games had already been made by this point, and the Baudelaire parents were quite proud. However… Plum also enjoyed wreaking havoc. She loved practical jokes. She loved causing trouble in general. Plum was a very feral dame. But, she was indeed _ very _protective of her sisters.

The resident writer, author, poet, and all things related to creating literature was miss Mauve Baudelaire. When she was ready to write for hours upon hours on end, she would put her hair up into a bun. She was moody. Very, very moody. If you irritated her, in any way, shape, or form, she would ignore you. Mauve was the queen of the silent treatment. Mauve also knew many, _ many _words, due to her being a writer. She mainly liked to write fiction of all genres. Nonfiction was a bore to her - “If I wanted facts, I’d ask Violet or Plum. Fuck off.” Goodness. Mauve may have been a brooding teen, but she cared for her sisters a great deal, and doted over them if they had ever fallen ill.

Finally, there was Lavender, the musician and songstress. She had her mother’s pipes, indeed. Whenever she was ready to play or sing, she would tie her hair up into a neat little bow. Lavender was a musical genius. She could play dozens of instruments, though her favorites were the harp, ocarina, and kalimba. She could sing plenty of songs by heart, but her favorite songs were ones she would sing offhandedly, constantly. Lavender was a gentle soul, and always tried to keep the peace between her sisters. She held her heart on her sleeve, and loved maybe a little too easily, friends and crushes alike. Plum constantly mentions the time she had three crushes that held and crushed her heart all in one week.

This handful of fourteen-year-old girls were just that - a handful. But they were a handful the Baudelaire parents were proud to have.

And every day was a pleasant new adventure.

* * *

“Plum I swear to _ fuck, _ if you don’t _ knock. It. Off. _I am going to SLAUGHTER you.” Mauve hissed.

Plum was currently peeking at her sister at the edge of her desk, eyebrows raised.

“I’m not doing it, and that’s _ final.” _

Plum raised her head slightly, her face falling into a smug look,

“_ Oh yeah?” _

“Yes.”

“I wasn’t asking you to do it, though. ‘Was telling you to.”

“Or what?”

Plum shook her head slightly in sarcastic surprise,

“_ Ooooor _ I’m telling mom you failed your math test.”

Mauve suddenly felt a surge of panic shoot up her spine, but she kept a calm, cool demeanor on the outside,

“Listen, sis, I’m _ really _busy right now-”

“I know you, Mauve. I know you’re panicking on the inside,” Plum stood up and moved around the desk, sliding to her sister’s side, “I know you’ll crack, and you’ll eventually end up doing it.”

“Stop trying to get the poor girl to help you with one of your stupid schemes.” Violet’s voice came as she entered the room, holding a rolled up schematic.

“Why the hell did everyone decide it was ‘Invade Mauve’s Room’ day?” Mauve huffed, “What in the hell and fuck do _ you _want? Plum, get out of here, I’m not fucking helping you.”

Plum smirked, “I’m going to tell mom.”

“No, you’re not. Mauve, do you have a spare pencil I could borrow?” Violet asked.

“Why don’t you ask Magenta? I’m sure she has _ plenty _ of them.” Mauve rolled her eyes.

“You know perfectly well how Mag is about her pencils. And her paints. Aaaand literally every other supply she has in her possession.” Violet said as she grabbed Plum’s arm as the girl tried to sneak off, “You’re not telling mother a _ thing _, sweetheart.”

“I didn’t _ fail _ the math test by the way.” Mauve said haughtily, “A seventy-five is _ not _failing, and-”

“You told mom you wouldn’t get anything below an eighty, dumb of ass.” Plum snipped, trying to yank her arm out of Violet’s grasp.

“Knock it off, the both of you. Mauve, if you don’t lend me a pencil, I’ll have to steal one, then.” Violet sighed.

“...Fuckin’, whatever, then. Just take the damn pencil.” Mauve snapped.

“Mind your mood, sister.” Violet spoke as she reached for a pencil from Mauve’s cup on her desk.

Plum took this as an opportunity to snake her way out of Violet’s grasp, dashing out of Mauve’s room,

“** _YEET._ **”

“..._For the love of_ \- Thank you, Mauve, for the pencil - _ APRIL PLUM MALINA BAUDELAIRE- _” Violet said quickly before running out of the room in a huff.

Mauve sat back in her chair, crossing her arms,

“I’m never going to get any peace and quiet in this bitch of a house, am I.”

Plum dashed down the hallway, past the other girl’s rooms, pursued by Violet, who was quickly catching up to the feral girl.

She reached the living room, and spotted Lilac and Lavender, who were watching the television. 

Well, “watching”. The volume was very low. Lilac was reading a script and mumbling, making faces, while Lavender was busy fiddling with her kalimba and singing softly.

“Hey, losers, I need the phone. Keep Vi distracted, K?” Plum said quickly.

“_ Comin’ up on a skyline, found a good way to waste time.- _What did you do, now, Plumsweet?” Lavender sung sweetly before asking her sister.

“I gotta call mom, super important stuff, you wouldn’t understand. Gamer stuff - _ Shit _\- Just keep her distracted, mmk? Thanks-” Plum rambled before vaulting herself over the couch and running to the cordless phone on the wall.

“Do _ NOT _ touch that phone, _ April. _” Violet snapped sternly, storming towards the girl, who’s hand was mere inches away from the device.

“...Make me.”

“...Mother and father left me in charge-”

“Did not.”

“Technically, they did.” Lilac said suddenly, flipping a page of her script, then continuing to mumble.

Plum glared at her. Violet smiled,

“I’m the eldest. What I say _ goes. _”

“Yeah, while mom ‘n’ dad are _ gone _, dumb bitch.” Plum mocked.

“You touch the phone, I’m confiscating your 3DS.”

“Do it, hoe. You won’t.”

Lilac snorted.

Violet felt herself fume,

“_ Cease this buffoonery this _ ** _instant, _ ** you _ clown. _”

Lavender cleared her throat.

“What are you, some proper lady from the 1800’s?” Plum cackled,

“And I prefer _ jester, _by the way.”

Violet shot her a glare,

“_ Stop this asinine nonsense. _ ** _now._ ** _ ” _

“Oh shit we usin’ big words, eh, sis?” Plum laughed, her hand now fully covering the phone, ready to pluck it off the holder.

“** _PUT THE PHONE. DOWN.” _ **Violet yelled.

“_ PLEASE _ stop yelling at each other!” Lavender cried out suddenly, “Violet, be easier on Plum, and Plum, you know mom and dad are out on another business trip right now, so they won’t even _ pick up!” _She said as she slammed her kalimba down onto the coffee table. Lilac looked on with raised eyebrows and wide eyes.

Violet’s face softened, and Plum released her hand from the phone.

“...I apologize, Lav. I didn’t mean to get… so worked up.” Violet said, looking at her sister with worry.

“You’re right, they wouldn’t even pick up.” Plum repeated,

“...They never do.”

“Not unless we leave an urgent message or call several dozen times.” Lilac noted.

The girls stayed in silence for a few moments.

Magenta suddenly came into the room, wrapped in a soft pink blanket, rubbing an eye, “Why’re we all yellin’?” She asked sleepily.

Violet sighed in defeat, “Oh, Maggie, sweetie, I’m so sorry, did I wake you? Plum was being a pain again, and-”

Lavender gave her a look.

“And I… my temper got the best of me, again, I suppose.”

“...You suppose.” Plum squinted.

“Don’t push it.” Lilac coughed.

“Oh. S’like every other day?” Magenta yawned.

“...Basically.” Mauve said from the other side of the room, leaning on the wall.

They all looked to her suddenly.

“Mauvey! You’re out of your cave!” Lavender cried, “I need, well, I’d _ like _you to put some lyrics to this melody I made yesterday?”

Mauve rolled her eyes, but smiled, “Alright, Lav, I’ll bite, let’s go.”

Lavender hopped giddily up from the armchair she was lounging in and the two girls went back down the hallway.

“...I’m gonna go back to bed, now.” Magenta said sleepily.

“...Maggie, it’s past noon.” Lilac said, giving her a sarcastic glance.

“It’s Sunday.”

“And you haven’t emptied the dishwasher. It was your turn to do so. Yesterday.” Violet stated, “I would have done it, but mother told me not to do your chores for you, lest you not learn responsibility.”

“I’m sure one time won’t kill you.” Magenta slurred, blinking.

“...Just… empty the dishwasher and you can go back to bed. It will take literally a _ few minutes _of your time, goodness sakes.” Violet begged.

“...Fine.” Magenta said finally, throwing her blanket in Lilac’s direction. It landed on top of her head and she made a small yelp in surprise.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if our neighbors hated us.” Violet breathed.

“A small sacrifice.” Lilac’s muffled voice came before she pulled off her sister’s blanket.


	2. Burnin’ Down The House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Baudelaire girls' parents send them on a quaint trip to the beach. Though the day may seem gloomy and gray, these sisters will certainly find a way to bring about sunshine.
> 
> Or... not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contact me uwu: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

“Girls?” Beatrice spoke as she entered the library, where the sextuplets were currently flitting about, chattering and hollering, Mauve occasionally telling Plum and Lilac to shut up because she was trying to focus.

“Girls, I have a pleasant little idea for you this morning.” Their mother spoke again.

Violet was the one to notice her mother, and perhaps the only one, of course, and set down a book on internal gearworks,

“Yes, mother?”

She said this loudly enough so Mauve let out a whistle, causing the other girls to pipe down and look to their mother. Plum flopped down into one of the arm chairs, clapping her 3DS shut. Lilac ceased practicing a monologue. Magenta looked up from her book about Monet. Lavender ceased her music reading, relieving her violin of the bow.

“Thank you.” Beatrice nodded, smiling, “Now, how would you all feel about going to the beach together this morning?”

Plum raised her eyebrows, and Magenta suddenly slapped her book shut onto her lap,

“The beach? Together? With you and dad?” She gasped excitedly. Mauve rolled her eyes.

“Unfortunately your father and I can’t come with you, we’ve got something vitally important to deal with - please understand.” Beatrice responded, arching her brows in apology.

Magenta sank.

Violet cleared her throat, “It’s no problem, mother. We’ll be out of your hair once we’ve gotten ready.”

“Good. Make sure to grab everything you need, your most precious things. Remember sunscreen, and look out for each other.” Beatrice said, her voice faltering slightly.

Lilac looked at her mother suspiciously.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Plum asked, “Are you guys leaving  _ again?” _

“Plum, be kind.” Lavender said softly. Plum stuck her tongue out in defiance.

“You’ll be fine, no worries. We’ll meet with you later. I need to go speak with your father, now. Go and get ready, girls. I love you dearly.” Beatrice said.

Violet felt a pang of worry, “We love you too, mother…”

“Yep, sure do. Love you lots.” Plum said. Lavender nodded, “Very much.”

“Love both you and father.” Lilac said happily.

“I’ll always love you two more than you know!” Magenta offered, smiling.

“Love you guys, too. We’ll see you later.” Mauve said out of the side of her mouth, meaning well.

Beatrice smiled at her six girls, breathed in slowly, and then turned, leaving the library.

Each of the girls felt worried, some more than others.

* * *

“Plum. You literally do not. Need to bring all. That shit.” Mauve said slowly, staring at her sister.

Plum snorted, “Mom said to bring all our  _ most pwecious things  _ so that’s what I’m doin’, bitch!”

“We’re going to the beach. Not to Gisnep World.” Mauve mocked.

“Hilarious. Shut your up.” Plum spat back.

The girl was currently organizing a suitcase with a couple of consoles, some various games, her PC harddrive, and a few other necessities.

“Why are you… bringing just the harddrive.” Mauve asked, looking absolutely tired.

“I have a feeling. I dunno.”

“...I wonder how I’ve put up with you all these years.”

“Shut up, bitch, you’re bringing your laptop?”

“I always bring it with me everywhere. Dumbshit.”

“Can you two  _ please  _ be nice to each other?” A small voice came.

Plum and Mauve turned to see Lavender coming into the room, a large satchel thrown over her shoulder, and her guitar case on her back.

“Sorry, Lav, but Plumbitch here is being a-” Mauve said snidely.

“A what? What is it, then?  _ What?”  _ Plum grinned mischievously.

“That’s quite enough, you two. I have everything I need, where are Lilac and Magenta?” Violet entered Plum’s room, carrying a picnic basket and two beach bags.

“It’s ‘everyone come into  _ my  _ room’, now, huh?” Plum sighed.

“It’s because you two are bickering again.” Lilac came, carrying her own bags.

“Ah, Li, there you are. Maggie?” Violet replied.

“Mag’s currently trying to decide on which stuffed animals to leave and take.” Lilac replied.

“So… nothing new.” Mauve yawned, “I’ll go grab my shit.”

“Language, all of you, by the by.” Violet said.

“Fuck. My city, now.” Plum said simply. Violet merely blinked tiredly,

“Plum, go find Maggie once you’re done here. She definitely has her favorite art supplies already packed up - the other part always gives her trouble.”

“Mmk.” The girl replied, continuing to neatly place items into her suitcase.

Mauve moved past Violet, who stopped her short, “Have you packed?”

“Clearly.”

“That’s all I’m asking, I’m not asking if you’ve written something lewd, again -  _ don’t look at me like that. _ ” Violet looked at her sister with annoyance, but stopped for a moment,

“ _ Have you?” _

Mauve blinked harshly and groaned, “ _ No!  _ I’m going to go get my shit, now.”

Plum zipped up her suitcase, checked her backpack, closed it shut as well, then hopped up, moving through all of her sisters, sliding out of the room.

Magenta was currently sitting on her bed, staring at a group of stuffed animals, a heavily worried look on her face.

“Hewwo Mags.” Plum said sweetly, slipping into her sister’s room.

“Hello.” Magenta said simply.

“Having some problems?”

“Yes. Mother seemed like we’ll never come back here again? I’m scared. I don’t want to leave them all here. I’d hurt too much.” Magenta’s voice was thick with anxiety.

“Naw, Mags, we’re comin’ back, don’t even worry about it. You’re probably just overthinking, again. Here,” Plum tried to soothe her, then sitting on the side of her bed, “Take the ones you  _ absolutely cannot  _ live without.”

Magenta looked carefully at the pile for a minute or two, Plum inspecting her nails, picking at them.

The artist then grabbed some of them in her arms, turned, and shoved them carefully into the backpack behind her.

“There ya go. You good?” Plum asked gently.

“...Yes. Thank you, Plumsweet.” Magenta replied.

“No problamo, gamer. Now let’s bounce.” Plum said happily. Magenta nodded and collected her bags.

* * *

“Beach still sucks. Got sand in my ass. Bet you ten buckaroos.” Plum said aloud as she tried to sit on the beach towel Violet had laid out.

“Language.” Violet called from the shore, kneeling by the picnic basket.

“You’re fine, Plum. I’d be more worried about sand getting into your Switch.” Lavender said, strumming her guitar beside her sister.

“Then it’d be a uh…” Plum began, a smile spreading across her face,

Mauve threw her head back in agony, “ _ Please  _ don’t fucking-”

“ _ Sandswitch.”  _ Plum began to cackle fiercely, “ _ Hrngh, _ cronchy.”

Mauve’s hands moved from her keyboard in her lap, and slapped onto her face, groaning.

Lavender giggled.

Magenta was busy near Violet, sitting criss cross, gazing out at the foggy sea, to her tablet, and back. Her tablet pen moved carefully over the screen as she bit the inside of her cheek.

Lilac was rambling on to her about a stage play that she wanted to be turned into a movie, and Briny Beach would be an excellent location to film a scene at.

Magenta glanced at Violet, who was still tinkering with the basket - 

“What’s that, sis?”

“It’s a machine that will pick up rocks skipped across the water.” Violet said simply, then closing the lid shut, “Plum?” She called.

“Hyauh?” Plum called absentmindedly, clearly focused on the game in her hands.

“I need your hand-eye-coordination. Come skip a rock for me, Plumsweet.”

Plum gave a heavy sigh before pausing and getting up, “What kinda rock would be good, d’you think.” She began to walk over to the other three sisters on the shore.

Lilac stopped for a moment, looking about her, eyeing some various rocks,

“A smooth one would skip far better,” The actress plucked a rounded, dark rock, “Here!” She handed it up to Plum, who took it,

“Epic. How hard d’you want me to chuck this bitch?” Plum asked, looking down to Violet,

“As hard as you can.”

“ _ Fffffuck  _ yeah.” Plum swore happily as she began to reel back.

“Hold on. Why are you using your left hand, may I ask?” Violet stopped her, then taking a piece of chalk from her skirt pocket to mark an ‘X’ on the rock in her sister’s hand.

“ _ Mmm _ I dunno. Feel like it.” Plum replied, holding her pose.

“That might mess up her results - use your right hand.” Magenta said suddenly.

Plum snorted but switched hands anyhow, then fiercely threw the rock, screaming,

“ ** _yEET!_ ** ”

“Necessary? No. Stupid? Yes.” Mauve said from up on the beach. Lavender giggled.

The rock skipped quickly across the water for nearly a minute before slowing and sinking into the waters below.

Violet then tapped a small button on the side of the basket, to which a large, mechanical claw shot up and out, reaching across the water.

The other girls watched as Violet’s invention worked its magic. Eventually, the claw came up with the exact rock that Plum had thrown, and reeled back.

“Now that’s pretty good,” Lilac said, “But is it useful for anything else?”

Violet squinted.

“...Sometimes something doesn’t have to be useful. It can be for fun. It can be for… for enjoyment.” Magenta said quietly. Lilac blinked,

“...I suppose you’re right.”

“Thank you, Maggie.” Violet smiled sweetly to her sister.

“Hate to break up the party over there, but, uh, there’s someone in the fog over yonder.” Mauve called, standing up from her spot, and pointed to the wooden stairs.

The other girls turned to see a dark figure emerging from the fog, coming toward their direction.

“...Mr. Poe?” Lavender called out, setting down her guitar.

The man let out a few furious coughs before finally gathering himself, “Good morning, girls! Very gloomy day, yes?” He said nervously.

Mauve rolled her eyes as her sisters went to greet him, and got up to join them.

“I wouldn’t say gloomy, sir, I think it’s the perfect day to come to the beach. Not another soul in sight.” Lilac said pleasantly.

“Yep, and no sun means no glare on screens.” Plum offered, nudging Magenta, who quietly agreed.

Mr. Poe coughed again, making Plum’s eye twitch.

“Well, however it may be, I… have some very unfortunate news for you girls, sadly.”

Violet blinked,

“However do you mean?”

Mr. Poe coughed a few more times, Mauve grumbled, and Lavender arched her eyebrows.

The man gathered himself once again and spoke,

“I’m afraid your parents have perished in a terrible fire.”

Magenta’s eyes immediately began to well up. Plum looked a mix of confused and hurt. Lilac threw her hands over her mouth. Mauve glared at him. Lavender let out an anguished noise.

Violet swallowed,

“ _ What? _ ”

“I’m very sorry… my dears…” Mr. Poe said awkwardly, trying to look as depressed as some of them did,

“You do know what ‘perished’ means-?”

“ _ Clearly.”  _ Mauve spat horribly.

“Mauve.” Violet said simply.

“...Well… now we know why mom said to take our… ‘most precious things’.” Plum spoke up.

Mr. Poe nodded, “Well, I’ll be taking you to my home, and tomorrow, first thing in the morning, I’ll be taking you to your new guardian.” He sounded cheery.

“I want to see it.” Mauve stated.

“Hm?” Mr. Poe offered, confused.

“She… She means she… wants to see… our house…” Magenta whimpered. Lavender latched onto her sister’s arm.

“Right, well, let’s go then. Gather your things, now.” Mr. Poe responded with sunshine.

Sunshine to a situation that clearly did not call for sunshine. But rather, rain.

* * *

They had managed to squeeze into Mr. Poe’s car, somehow, and shoved their things into the trunk, somehow, and were now at the front of their… somehow burnt down mansion.

“Well, here we are, Baudelaires. Please don’t take too long, I still have some work to be done at the bank, I’m sure you understand.” Mr. Poe said.

Each of the girls entered the remains of what once was.

Lavender ran her hand over the ruined piano their father loved to play at - the one she learned to play on.

Magenta silently sobbed at all the burnt up paintings.

Plum ran into where she knew her room had once been, bobbing and weaving through the wreckage, trying to recognize where - 

To find it all under rubble, melted metal, and ash.

“Fuck.” She muttered, empty.

“Well, fuck me.” Mauve said, nearly laughing, “Isn’t this just the fucking pits?”

Lilac made soft whimpers at her surroundings, looking every which way, her hands still over her mouth.

Violet looked over some shelves, then to a desk, to which she recognized as their father’s, and opened one of the drawers.

“What..?” She wondered quietly, picking up an odd device, only for one half of it to crumble and break into bits and ash in her hands.

Upon observing the object, and odd eye shape covered the top of it.

“Now, come Baudelaires, we really  _ must  _ get moving.” Mr. Poe’s voice came, distracting them from their present grieving.

Mauve snarled in annoyance.

“At least we have some of our stuff.” Plum said.

“And each other.” Lavender sobbed.

“Something like that.” Mauve replied.

“Be nice.” Lavender choked out.

* * *

That night the sextuplets were brought into Mr. Poe’s home, both his wife and his children as annoying and ignorant as he was, his two children, perhaps, moreso.

They excused themselves from dinner, in too much pain to eat.

They were confined to two old mattresses on the floor of Edgar and Albert’s room.

“At least Mr. Poe got us some extra clothes and things to wear…” Magenta whispered, clinging onto a soft rabbit plush.

Mauve and Plum merely made grunting noises.

“Hey, are you a baby or something? Why’re you holding a stuffed animal?” Edgar asked from his bed.

Magenta blinked, confused.

“She’s holding it because she  _ can,  _ asswhipe, mind ya business.” Plum snarled through gritted teeth. Edgar glared at her and  _ fwumped  _ back down onto his bed.

“...Plum.” Violet said quietly.

Plum turned over.

“I’m not going to be able to sleep.” Lilac said plainly.

“...Try to.” Lavender said.

“I’m sure we’ll figure this all out in the morning.” Violet reassured them.

Though, she wasn’t so sure herself.

She thought about the odd device she’d found. Hopefully there would be an explanation about it soon.


	3. Lil’ Ol Mister Bastard Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a heavy cloud hanging over the sextuplets, they now must endure the meeting of a certain dirty old man...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contact me uwu: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

“So, uh,” Plum called from the back of Mr. Poe’s car, squished between her sisters, “Where we goin’?”

Violet sat in the passenger seat, completely still, her hands in her lap. Mr. Poe looked in the rearview mirror,

He then explained how this “Count Olaf” was “something something removed from whoever whatever”, which is how Plum explained it later. Mauve never bothered to remember, either.

“...If he was so close, why did mother and father never tell us about him?” Lilac asked.

“Well, seeing as how he is both a count _ and _an actor, he’s probably quite busy.” Mr. Poe answered.

“Tch.” Mauve spat from the back seat, leaning an elbow on the window.

“Oh!” Lilac said hopefully, “He’s an actor? I haven’t heard of him, though.”

Mr. Poe cleared his throat.

Magenta leaned onto Mauve, still dewy eyed, clutching the stuffed rabbit in her arms. Plum placed a gentle hand on hers.

“...Is he nice?” Lavender asked quietly.

“You’ll have to speak up, Lily.” Mr. Poe said.

“Her name is _ Lavender.” _Mauve snipped. Violet cleared her throat.

“I don’t think Mr. Poe would know what Count Olaf is like, Lav.” Mauve replied, “Hopefully he’s not an asshole.”

“...Language.” Violet said abruptly from the front seat.

Mauve rolled her eyes. Magenta sniffed, bringing the stuffed rabbit closer to her face,

“I’m scared.” She said meekly.

Mauve looked at her, placing a gentle hand on her head,

“No worries, Mags, if he is, he’ll have to answer to _ me.” _She smiled deviously. Magenta merely nodded.

They eventually came to a stop on the road beside a gorgeous looking house with perfect cherry blossom trees and a splendid little garden. The house itself was clean and whitewashed, little humming birds darting around the flower bushes under the window planters.

Magenta felt some relief, a small smile tugging at her lips.

“Oh, ok. This slaps.” Plum said as they all exited Mr. Poe’s car.

A woman in a powdery white judge’s wig came out holding a watering can. She noticed the Baudelaires and her face brightened,

“Hello, greetings, shalom! You must be the Baudelaire sextuplets!” She said gently, making her way down the cobblestone pathway to them.

“Heyo! That’s right, we’re the Baudegals, nice to meet ya!” Plum playfully said. Lilac giggled.

“Nice to meet you, I am Violet, and these are my sisters, Lilac, Magenta, Plum, Mauve, and Lavender.” The inventor explained.

The woman laughed, “What wonderful names! Mine is Justice Strauss.”

“What an interesting name.” Lilac commented.

“Oh, it’s not my name - it’s my title! I’m a judge in the high court.” Justice Strauss noted, pointing at her wig, “I’ll be on my way to another court hearing later today - I’m just making sure my blooms get their drink.” She winked.

Magenta giggled. Mauve felt a smile threaten her lips.

“Are you Count Olaf’s wife?” Lavender asked.

Her face suddenly fell into confused fear, “Oh, goodness, golly, gosh, _ no, _my darlings, I’m afraid he’s my neighbor across the street. I barely know about the man, which is perfectly fine by me, quite frankly.”

Violet felt something drop in her stomach.

This certainly wasn’t good.

“I’m afraid his house is… that one.” The woman pointed sadly across the way.

As the girls turned around, a cold chill fell over them.

The house was certainly large… but it was in _ awful _condition. Windows missing or broken or even boarded up? Dead plants, maybe even some small animal corpses littering the front lawn. It was dark, rotting, and clearly falling apart.

Magenta uttered a small, hopeless cry, and Plum hugged her closely.

“Well, fuck me.” Mauve muttered under her breath, feeling a lump in her throat.

“Well, girls, let’s get going, then, yes? Yes. Thank you for the pleasant greeting Justice Strauss, very nice to meet you!” Mr. Poe interrupted the six girls’ grim and solemn thoughts with his unpleasant voice.

“Ah - right, yes, I suppose… it was nice to meet you, girls.” Justice Strauss said worriedly,

She then gently grabbed onto Violet’s arm,

“Please be careful, darling. You’re all welcome to come see me at any time. If you need anything at all - I’m here for you.”

Violet looked at her, feeling some small comfort. Lilac blinked.

“Thank you, Justice Strauss. I’m sure we’ll take you up on that offer.” Violet replied. Magenta nodded to her, nearly full-on sobbing again.

The girls and Mr. Poe then made their way across the street toward a very unfortunate looking house.

Mr. Poe placed a finger on the doorbell, and it rang ominously, causing Lavender to squeeze her eyes shut.

“Fantastic.” Lilac whispered sarcastically.

“I thought you would’ve liked this shit shack, sis? Fits your aesthetic _ just _fine.” Mauve teased harshly. Lilac glared at her.

“Stop it, you two.” Violet warned. The two girls rolled their eyes. Plum snorted.

There were a few moments of uncomfortable silence before the door unlatched and _ clunked _open, revealing a very disgusting, abhorred, evil looking man.

Magenta quickly hid behind Plum, who immediately felt herself go feral.

The vile man gave the girls a dubious grin,

“_ Hello… hello… hello… _ So good to finally meet you lovely, _ rich _ladies.”

He spoke slowly and carefully, taking in their presence. Mauve glared darkly at him, piercing daggers into him.

Violet felt violated. Lilac’s breath hitched in her throat, nearly choking her.

Lavender adjusted her guitar case strap.

_ Do I hit him over the head? Now? Or later? _

Violet gave a glance her way.

_ Later. _

“Please, please, come in, ladies. Wipe your feet on the mat, now, we don’t want any mud getting inside, yes?” The Count said semi-sweetly. The girls hesitated, exchanging glances.

Lilac swallowed.

_ What have we gotten into? _

They entered, looking around. It was just as run down on the inside as it was on the outside, not to their surprise.

And he said he cared about _ mud? _

Plum bit her tongue, fighting back an outburst of laughter. Violet shot her a look.

“Well, it’s certainly a little…” Mr. Poe tried to find the right words, coughing.

“Run down, I know, but I’m sure with a little bit of the girls’ _ money _, we can make it a little more comfortable for them, yes?” Count Olaf grinned at them. Mauve grumbled at him.

Mr. Poe finished coughing, “Oh, no no no, the girls’ fortune can only be used by them once the oldest comes of age, you see.”

“Which one’s the oldest.” Olaf raised one side of his unibrow.

“All of us are the same age. We’re 14.” Lavender answered. Plum nodded, “We’re sextuplets. Wild, I know. Don’t look at me like that, creep.” She spat at him.

The Count glared at her, then looked back to Mr. Poe, “Well, I’m sure that’s all we need. They’ll be perfectly fine and _ comfortable _ in my care, don’t you worry your head over it.” He said, pushing Mr. Poe toward the door.

“Ah, yes, well,” He coughed, “Girls, if you need anything, please let me know, I’ll be at the bank if you need me-!” Before Olaf slammed the door on him.

“We don’t even know where the fuckin’ bank even _ is.” _Plum muttered. Lilac blew angrily between her lips.

They then suddenly realised they were alone with a man who was most _ definitely _a predator.

“Well, my dear girls.” He said sweetly, “It appears as though you’ll be staying with me for a while. Now, let me show you around, yes?”

Mauve felt like she was going to throw up. Lavender grabbed onto Magenta’s hand, who was having a hard time keeping it together.

* * *

He did indeed… show them around. The house was a dump, to put it lightly.

The only bathroom they were allowed to use was one with a moldy interior, and barely working.

He finally showed them to where they were going to be staying - 

The dusty, drafty attic. With one bed. And a pile of rocks.

“Now, don’t look so _ glum! _ Perhaps if you’re lucky, I may lend one of you _ my _bed for a night.” Olaf said, grinning.

Each of the girls’ faces twisted into a mixture of disgust, fear, and hatred. Plum nearly jumped at him to scratch his eyes out, but Violet, regretfully, held her back.

_ He can’t be fucking serious. _Mauve thought, balling up her fists so tightly that the knuckles turned white. Magenta let out a small, pathetic whine.

“Now, here,” He handed them a very long piece of paper, “Do you know what this is?”

“...A list of chores…” Violet said, taking the strand of paper in two fingers.

“_ WRONG _, it’s a list of chores - a list of chores for you to do by the time I get back with my theatre troupe tonight.”

“We said that, though.” Plum hissed out of the corner of her mouth. Mauve snorted, plunking her things down on the one rickety bed behind her.

“You have a theatre troupe?” Lilac asked.

“Why is there only one bed, anyhow.” Mauve half-asked, already knowing the answer.

Olaf gave a sick little smile to Lilac, ignoring Mauve completely, “Why yes, my little raven, you’re interested in thespian arts?”

Lilac immediately regretted asking the question, and she slowly nodded.

“I’m sure I can find a reason to add you into my next performance, little darling, how does that sound?”

Violet glared at him, “I’m sure she won’t need to, we’ll be _ quite _busy with these chores, Count Olaf.”

Olaf grinned darkly at her, “Please, call me _ father.” _

“Wild, considering how you’re not our _ fucking _dad.” Mauve snapped at him from behind the other girls. Magenta quickly moved to Mauve’s side, throwing her a worried look.

Olaf ground his teeth,

“Mind your mouth, sweetheart, or I’ll figure out a way to get you to shut it _ permanently.” _He warned coldly.

She felt a twinge of fear run down her back, but stood her ground, crossing her arms.

Lavender’s eyes shifted slowly around.

The man then drew a small, greasy looking bag from his pocket, throwing it to them, Mauve catching it, then immediately being grossed out by it,

“Use this to buy whatever you need to cook the dinner.”

“Wait, we need to cook dinner? For you and your _ entire _ theatre troupe?” Plum squinted.

“Be done with everything by the time I return tonight, my little lovelies.” He smized, ignoring Plum. He then left the room, slamming the door behind him.

They were quiet as they set their things down, Violet watching out the window as he quickly left in a dirty, rundown car.

“Is he gone?” Plum muttered.

Violet nodded.

Plum took in a deep breath,

“_ OOOOH MY _ ** _GOD _ ** _ DUDE’S DEFINITELY A PEDOPHILE AND WE NEED TO GET THE _ ** _F U C K _ ** _ OUT OF HERE.” _ She shouted in great panic, “I do NOT feel like getting BAD TOUCHED by a DIRTY OLD MAN, _ YEAH?” _

Magenta burst into tears, Lavender running over to her.

Violet took in a deep breath.

Mauve’s eyes darted around, “Alright, here’s the deal - we’re going to find a way to kill this motherfucker, you feel me? We’re going to slaughter his ass. Did you see the fucking way he looked at Lilac just then?” She pointed a single finger at Lilac, who was currently pacing in a sweaty panic.

“Girls.” Violet said in the midst of the chaos.

They all stopped to look at her.

“We’re not going to kill anyone. We’re going to go to the bank tomorrow morning and get this sorted out, and we’re going to get out of here and find our _ real _guardian.”

Mauve rolled her eyes, “Bitch, do you _ hear _ yourself? We don’t even know where the fuck the bank even _ is.” _

“GPS.” Magenta merely answered.

“Oh shit, little baby is right, is our 4G still working? Or did the fire magically burn down our cell plan?” Plum half-joked, taking her cellphone out of her hoodie pocket.

Mauve and Magenta did the same, and thankfully, their 4G was still active.

“Why don’t we call the police instead?” Lilac offered.

“If Mr. Poe can’t see that Bastard is _ clearly _ trying to… _ y’know, _then THEY won’t either, dipped shit.” Plum snapped.

Lilac shrank.

“Be _ kind.” _Violet hissed. Plum rolled her eyes.

“At least I can still chat with my friends, _ fuck _I gotta tell them about this,” Plum said, then immediatly padding away at her phone.

“They won’t believe you.” Mauve teased.

“I’ll take pics, fuck you, bitch.” Plum swore.

“...That’s actually a good idea. Take pictures. We’ll bring them to Poe tomorrow.” Violet answered.

“If he even listens to us.” Magenta said between tears.

“No, he will, I’ll make sure he will.” Violet said, placing reassuring hands on her sister’s shoulders.

“I’m certainly not unpacking, that’s all I’m going to say.” Lavender said simply, “Though I definitely need to play. I need to play _ something. _” She went to her guitar case.

“Can it wait, Lav? We need to get all these chores done by the time he comes back…” Lilac said carefully, looking at the long list in Violet’s hand.

“...Fine.” Lavender answered back, upset.

“As much as you all hate it, we’ll just have to stall him for now. Keep him off our backs.” Violet said apologetically.

“Literally or figuratively.” Mauve said, disgusted. Magenta let out a cry of shock, terrified.

“Holy _ shit _, Mauve.” Lilac spoke, a disgusted look on her face.

“What, do you _ want _ me to _ lie _?” Mauve snipped back sarcastically.

Lilac merely gave her angry sister an upset look. Mauve rolled her eyes.

“Girls. We can’t fight. Not right now. We need to stick together on a united front. If he tries anything, then we’ll have even more reason and proof to be put with our _ correct _guardian - and put him behind bars.” Violet said quickly.

“biTCH I HOPE THE FUCK HE DOESN’T, HE’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A _ BITCH _ IF HE EVEN _ TRIES _ IT, _ I TELL YOU THAT- _” Plum neared to a holler, her voice slowly raising. Lavender grabbed her arm,

“This is no time to go feral, Plumsweet, you can do that later.” She said.

“Ooogghh I _ fucking _hope so? Like…” Plum breathed, outraged, shaking her hands and jumping up and down.

The other Baudelaire girls knew _ exactly _what Plum was capable of. April Plum Malina Baudelaire was capable of tearing a lock off of a heavy chest, kicking a door down, and using her particularly sharp canines to break flesh.

Don’t ask them how they know these things.

In her fully enraged state, Plum was capable of many, many things.

And they knew this very, very well.

“Listen,” Mauve smirked, sauntering over to Violet, “If he tries anything, we’ll just sick Plum on him!”

Violet blinked at her.

“Absolutely not.”

“And _ why _is that?”

“She would kill him, Mauve.”

“_ That’s the fuckin’ point, dumbass.” _

Violet gave her sister an angry look. She returned this look with a sharp upward movement of her shoulders, throwing her hands up.

“Lemmie do it.” Plum stared blankly at Violet.

“No. And that’s final.”

“You’ll regret it.”

“I’m done with this conversation. We’re doing chores, now.” Violet replied, a bored look on her face.


	4. Strength in Sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this darkness the Baudelaires have been enveloped in can be chased away for a short while...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contact me uwu: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

The list of chores Olaf had left for them were ridiculous, but _ some _of them were easy enough to do.

Some of these chores included:

  * Washing + fixing the windows.
  * Washing the floors.
  * Polishing the ballroom floor.
  * Cleaning the kitchen.
  * Getting rid of the rats and spiders.
  * Making dinner for the troupe.
  * Cleaning all the bathrooms.
  * Dusting.

Etcetera etcetera.

“How is he expecting us to do all this _ in one day!?” _Lilac moaned pathetically, looking at the list in Violet’s hand as the all stood in the dilapidated house’s foyer.

Violet turned the list around to see a note,

_ And do NOT, under ANY circumstances, enter my tower room. _

She raised her eyebrows after reading it aloud.

“...Ok he’s definitely hiding something.” Lavender looked to Plum and Mauve, who were already plotting,

“Don’t you two _ dare.” _She warned, “You’ll get us into trouble.”

“Bold of you to assume that you can control me.” Plum smiled as if someone were pointing a knife at her, but she didn’t care at all.

“Wipe the grin off your face, we have work to do.” Violet said, staring at the list without looking up, “Now, I can do all the fixing, that should be no problem. I’ll just need to find some tools…”

“Doubt you’re gonna find that.” Mauve said snidely.

“I’ll find a way.” Violet said.

“...There’s always something.” Lilac spoke up, “I’ll wash the floors.”

“The Baudegals always find a way. Guess I’ll go clean up the kitchen.” Plum shrugged her shoulders, walking off. Magenta looked at the other girls before following Plum.

“...I guess I can try and find a way to catch some rats. I’ve written enough sneaky characters, I should be fine.” Mauve sighed.

“...They could be diseased, Mauvie.” Lavender said worriedly.

“..._ Or _they could be cool rats that are very smart.” Mauve spat back.

Lavender sighed, “I’ll dust.” She said reluctantly.

* * *

[Music](https://youtu.be/lz10F2Rtqv8)

Plum and Magenta had taken one look at the disgusting kitchen and felt their hearts drop.

“This is going to take more than one day.” Plum sneered at the mess. Magenta made a pitiful noise.

“Don’t worry, Mags, you can take care of the counters and whatnot - anything that doesn’t have food in or on it. I’ll do that part. I have more of an iron stomach than you do.” Plum patted her head. Magenta smiled slightly

They immediately got to work, and Plum began to hum something from one of her favorite games,

“Oh, that reminds me, if he has any working outlets, I’ll need to charge my shit. Maybe we could play Bravely Second, later?” She called from the dirty fridge, beginning to open it.

“...I’d like that.” Magenta said softly.

“Epic. Now, uh - oh God what the fuck?” Plum snickered, looking at the shelves of tupperware containing who-knows-how-old food, “This is going to be… interesting.”

“...Is it that bad?” Magenta asked, worried.

“You have _ no _idea, Maggie.”

“Oh, dear…”

“I’ll survive. Don’t worry about it.”

By the kitchen was the living room, where Lavender was trying her best to get rid of dust with the few rags she found lying around. 

He clearly was not going to make this easy.

She felt so _ hopeless. _ Their parents were _ gone. _Their home? Gone, too. The only things they had left were what they had packed that morning…

...Did their mother know? Did father know? Did they know their home was going to be burnt down with them inside it?

What was going on?

_ Why is this happening to us? _

_ What did we do to deserve it? _

She couldn’t take it, her heart ached horribly.

She took a deep breath and opened her mouth,

_ Breathe out, and breathe in. _

Plum and Magenta stopped their for a second upon hearing their sister’s voice. Magenta smiled gently.

_ We’re still forgetting.__  
_ _Breathe out, and breathe in._

Violet had managed to find _ some _sort of tools in a closet, and was attempting to fix the window’s frames as best she could. She ceased tapping at a corner with her hammer for a moment upon hearing Lavender.

_ We’ll be forgiven. _

Mauve was crouching near a corner where a rat had chewed a hole in the wall, staring with one eye into it, which shifted to Lavender’s direction. Lilac was sitting on the floor, scrubbing at the floor next to the couch.

They then joined in.

_Together, we wait for space._  
_ Together, we wait for silence._  
_ And under your breath,  
_You spoke. Of innocence.

They then began to sing in near-perfect unison, trying to let go of their worries, their fears, their pain.

_ And _**_I won’t be the victim_**.  
_ And maybe you should _**_know_**.  
_ That I can see _**_the_** **_writing_**_.  
__ So slowly _**_letting go_**.

Lavender began to bang on the side table she had come to, Lilac patting at the floor.

_ I’ll give up,  
_ _ And give in. _

Magenta’s voice cracked,

_ It’s only a matter of time. _

Plum felt a pain in her chest,

_ I’ll let you encase me.  
_ _ And maybe there’s nothing to hide. _

They all cried together,

_ All that ever was, and ever is, is nearly coming _ ** _true_ ** .  
_ All you ever see, you ever hear, _ ** _will all come crashing through_ ** .  
_When you see that,_  
_ You’re needed,  
_ _ You fall in the,_

Lavender and Lilac belted out at the top of their lungs,

** _ Hands. Of Innocence._ **

They all had stopped their work by now, moving about passionately, trying to forget.

**** _ And I won’t be the victim!_  
**** _ And maybe you should know!_  
** _ That I can see the writing!  
_ ** **** _ So slowly letting go!_

As they finished the song, the house became deathly silent.

This was their reality, now. This was all they had left.

But. At least they had each other.

* * *

The Baudelaires had worked all day before they realized how late it was getting, and that they had to prepare dinner for Count Olaf and his troupe.

“Do _ any _of us know how to cook?” Mauve asked, crossing her arms.

“Barely.” Magenta said softly.

“Plum was banned from the kitchen because she made spaghetti explode. Violet burned _ toast _,” Mauve started to list off,

Violet glared at her, “You left a pot of soup on the stove and it burnt to a crisp.”

Mauve made an irritated expression and rolled her eyes.

“The only ones who are _ ok _with cooking are Lilac and Magenta.” Lavender offered, looking to the two girls. Lilac blinked,

“But- I- What if I mess it up? He might do something!” She cried desperately.

“You won’t.” Magenta reassured simply.

“We’ll help you.” Violet smiled.

“What the fuck do we make, then?” Plum said, laying on the couch.

“Does he have any cook books?” Lavender asked, though doubtful.

“I didn’t see shit in the kitchen.” Plum replied, “And I doubt he has a library in this bitch. Man’s is dumb as all fuck, I bet you.”

Lavender nodded, “I didn’t see any books around here, really. If there were any, they were either too worn or… burnt for some reason.”

“Motherfucker went Fahrenheit 451.” Mauve sneered.

“Bitch said ‘fuck books, actually.’” Plum snorted, staring at her phone. Lilac giggled.

“We could just look something up online.” Magenta said.

“I think we should go ask Justice Strauss.” Lavender said, “So we can get out of this house for a moment or two.”

“Fine by me. _ Fuck this shit I’m out. _” Mauve sang before heading to the foyer.

“Hyeeup.” Plum said loudly before hopping up from her position on the couch, following Mauve. Magenta blinked at Violet before following as well.

Violet sighed, “Fine. But we can’t be too long. I can’t imagine how he’ll react if he returns and finds us missing.”

“We’ll be fine.” Lavender said, taking her hand and leading her to follow their sisters. Lilac didn’t exactly agree with that sentiment, but she had no choice but to follow, anyhow.

The girls made their way across the street to Justice Strauss’s house, who opened the door and greeted them happily.

“Oh, girls! I didn’t expect you to visit so soon!” Justice Strauss smiled warmly at the sextuplets.

Violet nodded, “We’re having some trouble with Count Olaf - that, and we need to cook dinner for he and his entire theatre troupe, so we’ll need some help.”

“We decided to come over and see if you had any cookbooks we could look at?” Magenta squeaked.

Justice Strauss’s eyes lit up, “Oh! Yes indeed I do, girls! I have a whole library all to myself. It gets quite lonely, actually…” She said, pouting slightly, “Here, come with me, come with me! I’ll help you find what you need.”

The sisters smiled at each other before following Justice Strauss through her home and out back to a seperate building - it was indeed her own, small personal library, with dozens upon dozens of books lining the walls.

Mauve’s eyes lit up, “D’you have any fiction books?”

“...Art history?”

“I kinda doubt you have any books regarding video games but hey.”

The judge merely smiled, “I have books on all subjects - _ including _video games, dear little Plum - don’t you worry.”

Plum smiled smugly at Violet, who had looked at her sister in annoyance beforehand.

Violet remembered the device she’d found in the remnants of their home. She fished it out of her pocket, “Justice Strauss?”

“What is it, Violet?”

“...I found this in our father’s desk.”

The girl showed it to the woman, who’s eyes glittered.

“It looks like… part of a spyglass, I think.” Violet said softly.

“Indeed it does, Violet! And something is ringing a very _ faint _bell - let me see what I can find…” Justice Strauss smiled as Violet nodded, pocketing the piece again.

The woman began to move a tall, rolling step-ladder, “All cookbooks are on the south wall - take your time, girls. My home is yours.” She said sweetly. The sisters exchanged joyful looks before indulging themselves in the plethora of books.

It reminded Mauve of the library back in their home. She’d read nearly every fiction book in the library, and was aiming to read every single one before she had to leave home to become a famous writer.

But alas, that was never to come.

Magenta felt some sadness wash over her for all her lost sketchbooks, both on that shelf their father had made for her to store some of them in their library, and all the ones that had piled high in her room.

Plum silently cursed the fire for taking her collection of Nintendo Power magazines.

Lavender wondered if she could have saved all of her music sheets.

Lilac sighed deeply, remembering all of her favorite scripts had been turned to ash.

Violet looked at the cookbook before her, thinking about all her favorite books on inventors, laid waste in the rubble.

“Hmmm…” Violet hummed, flipping through the pages as each of her sisters sat around the library, Plum sitting upside down on the couch, her legs draped over the back of it, and Magenta laying her head on her sister’s stomach. Lilac sat in an armchair nearby, reading over the words of Shakespear.

“...Pasta Puttanesca.” Violet read aloud.

“Bless you.” Lavender replied.

Plum and Lilac giggled.

“No? Pasta Puttanesca. It looks simple enough for Li and Mag to prepare. I wonder what Puttanesca means…” Violet continued.

Mauve snorted, “‘Just throw whatever shit in there’ probably.”

“_ Mauve.” _Violet hissed. Plum let out a loud laugh.

“It sounds Italian.” Lilac noted, Magenta gave an affirmative hum.

“Looks like it is - all we have to do is saute olives, capers-”

“Capers?” Lavender wondered.

“-’Type of fish.” Plum answered.

“...Chopped parsley and tomatoes in a pot, then boil spaghetti.” Violet finished.

“Sounds easy, but it’s probably going to be a pain in the ass to do.” Plum said.

“_ Please _remain lady-like in front of Justice Strauss.” Violet hissed.

“Vi, who gives a damn? We’re being put through the fucking wringer right now.” Mauve spat.

“...We’ll do our best. Justice Strauss, is there a grocery store around here?” Lavender interrupted.

Justice Strauss was in the middle of looking at a long, odd looking book when she looked down toward her, “No - _ but _ there _ is _an open-air market and gin distillery nearby. Let me take you - I don’t think it’s safe for you girls to be out by yourselves.”

Violet smiled, “Thank you, Justice Strauss.”

* * *

The trip was thankfully successful - what little money Olaf had given them in the dirty coin bag was just enough, to their surprise.

The ingredients may not have been _ entirely _fresh or on brand, but they didn’t care (Well, mostly Plum and Mauve didn’t care.). They weren’t the ones eating it.

Justice Strauss lead them back to the Count’s house, saying they could borrow the books they had from her library.

“We should get started, gaymers.” Plum said, “I’ll even wash the ingredients for you!”

Lavender blinked, “You’re being too nice right now.”

“Look, Mags and I worked our asses off on that kitchen, and it’s still lookin’ like shit, but _ hell _ if I don’t feel proud for at least making a _ dent _ in that dump.” Plum complained, “The counters and dishes are clean, at _ least.” _

Magenta nodded, smiling slightly.

Violet and Mauve raised an eyebrow and glanced at each other.

“Let’s just… get started.” Lilac cleared her throat.

Plum was right - the kitchen _ did _ look a _ little _better. The counters were clear enough for the sisters to work on.

Mauve questioned if the water coming out of the sink’s faucet was clean, Violet shrugged in response. Plum rinsed the ingredients off and placed them in a bowl for Lilac. Lavender and Lilac then chopped them up, placing them into a pot, and Magenta managed to get the stove going (Which released a torrent of fire at first, causing her to cry out in terror.). Mauve got the sauce cooking, and Lavender got the noodles boiling.

Magenta, the precious little baby, decided to make some chocolate pudding.

It was indeed easier than they thought, and it eventually got done.

They heard some hollering from the foyer, and assumed he had returned with his theatre troupe.

Lilac poked her head out of the kitchen, looking into the living room at a collection of diabolical looking people.

_ That’s not a troupe of actors at all. _

_ That’s a band of dubious villains. _

She then shrank back into the kitchen, going to grab onto Violet’s arm.

“‘Guess the peanut gallery is here.” Plum noted.

“Fucking incredible.” Mauve commented, “Li, you gonna be ok?”

Lilac sighed, “I had my hopes misplaced.”

“Definitely.” Lavender noted.

Violet looked at her apologetically.

“_ WHERE’S DINNER?” _Olaf roared, walking into the kitchen. The man was clearly very drunk.

“We’re getting there, _ oh great and wonderful one.” _ Mauve mocked, going to stick up a middle finger before Lavender managed to grab her hand.

“We’re STARVING, you little _ shits _, hurry up.” The man slurred before going into the dining room. They each made their own disappointed faces.

“Part two of the mission has started, ladies - God speed.” Plum said half-heartedly, picking up some bowls.

“We’ll be fine.” Violet attempted, “We made dinner like he told us to.”

Magenta nodded, and Mauve rolled her eyes.


	5. The Story of Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a very frantic dinner, the girls need some time to collect themselves...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contact me uwu: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

Plum and Lavender set out the bowls and silverware, Lilac and Magenta walking out with the noodles and sauce. Mauve leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen, Violet standing beside her.

Olaf and the troupe had settled around the long dining table, awaiting their “feast” as the girls set up their table settings.

“Dinner is served.” Violet said pleasantly as the other two dished the food.

“_ The hell is this?” _Olaf sneered down at his bowl.

“Pasta puttanesca.” Magenta said meekly.

“What did you just call me?” Olaf glared at her, causing her to shift behind Plum.

“It’s an Italian dish with some rad sauce and noodles, dude.” Plum replied. Magenta peeked out at him, nodding.

“Where’s the roast _ beef? _” The vile man spat, flinging a piece of spaghetti toward Lilac, who flinched.

Mauve narrowed her eyes,

“_ Roast beef? _”

“Yes, the ROAST BEEF, _ I said to make ROAST BEEF.” _Olaf started to raise up, glaring at the girls nearby him.

“You never told us to make roast beef..?” Magenta squeaked, coming out from behind Plum, who grabbed her hand quickly. “We made Puttanesca sauce…” The lamblike girl continued.

“So,” Count Olaf towered over Magenta, “You’re telling me… that you’re making my troupe and I eat this _ filth, _ and not a _ proper meal?” _

Magenta looked as if she was about to cry.

“Hey, shithead, I don’t know if you’ve _ noticed, _ but you didn’t tell us _ shit _, and you’re either going to ea-” Plum began to spit at him, glaring daggers,

But the horrid man grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her face close to his,

“_ Mind who you’re talking to, you little slut, or I’ll break you in ways that you would have never thought imaginable.” _

Plum’s mouth clamped shut, fear burning every surface of her body.

Fear. And disgust.

Magenta’s eyes grew wide. Lilac felt like she was going to be sick. Lavender let out a small cry. Violet lurched forward, trying to think fast.

“LET HER GO, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE _ CREEP.” _Mauve shouted at him, enraged.

Olaf looked toward her, letting go of Plum, who scrambled over to Violet’s side. Violet took her sister into a comforting, tight hold, “You’re alright, you’re ok.” She whispered repeatedly to her. Plum shivered in her arms.

“Clean this up and get to your beds, _ orphans. _” Olaf snapped, straightening himself out, “We’ll speak of your punishment later tomorrow.”

Lilac swallowed hard.

“...You m-mean our… _ bed. _You’ve only provided us with… with one bed…” Magenta braved.

Olaf looked down at her,

“You can buy another bed with your mountainous fortune.”

“You… you know plenty well we haven’t any money!” Magenta cried,

“We can’t use our money, and you can’t either, until we come of age! And we’d never let you use it anyw-!”

_ SLAP _

Magenta tumbled backwards onto the floor, nearly hitting her head on a side table that had been pushed into the corner. Lavender and Lilac let out horrified noises, rushing toward their sister.

Magenta lifted a shaky hand to her face, tears pouring from her eyes,

“...Oh.”

“YOU_ FUCKING _ ** _ JERK_ ** _ -” _Mauve screeched, but Violet held out an arm to halt her advance.

“Once again-” Olaf began, rubbing his hand, looking at his startled troupe members, “-What? Little whore deserved it-” He then looked to the group of traumatized sisters,

“There is an extra bed for one or two of you in _ my _room.” The wicked, awful man grinned darkly.

Mauve snarled. Lavender and Lilac held onto Magenta, who each felt sick to their stomachs. Plum buried her head into Violet’s shoulder.

Violet clenched her jaw.

* * *

The six sisters sat in silence in the attic after the spectacle of an event, Lilac trying her best to doctor the injury on Magenta’s face.

Plum sat in a corner of the room, arms wrapped around her knees, head buried in them. Lavender sat beside her, attempting to comfort her.

“I’m so _ sorry… _” Violet said softly. Lilac looked at her,

“There isn’t anything we could have done.”

“But there _ is, _ though!?” Mauve squinted angrily, “We can run away. Call the cops. We have _ evidence- _” She stopped, the cogs in her brain whirring,

“_ We can kill him.” _

Violet stared at her,

“Mauve? _ No.” _

“I’m not fucking kidding around, _ Violet. _ It’ll be easy. We’ll make it look like a fucking _ accident. _ Like he _ disappeared. _I’ve written enough shit, I’ve read enough, done my research - I know how.” Mauve grabbed onto Violet’s shoulders, staring straight into her eyes. Her blood boiled.

Violet was silent.

“Fucking. Creep.” Plum said quietly, “Needs to _ die. _”

Lilac nodded.

Lavender exhaled heavily out of her nose. She then looked at Violet, “We’ll go to the bank tomorrow, let Mr. Poe know -”

“We’re not going to that fucking _ bank, _ Lav. We all know Mr. BITCH isn’t going to do _ SHIT.” _Plum spat at her sister. Lavender looked to Plum, whose face was a mess of tears and hatred.

Violet took out her hair ribbon, then tying her hair up, “Lilac, help me make a place for us to sleep.” Lilac simply nodded, going over to their pile of things.

The others looked at her as she thought heavily,

“Mauve, Lavender, try to distract us.”

Mauve rolled her eyes, sighing, “Whatever.”

Lavender patted Plum’s head before getting up to get her guitar.

While Violet and Lilac worked together, shifting the various items in the attic around, setting up their things, and generally attempting to make a place where they would be comfortable,

Lavender put her hair up in her bow, and began to play a soft, gentle tune on her guitar. Mauve fixed her hair in a bun, and began to weave a fairytale...

* * *

[Music](https://youtu.be/Elj9ijUBiV8)

“Long ago, in a land plagued with misfortune and sorrow, there lived six sisters.

Their village was laid waste by a wicked warlock who had been torturing the lands for as long as all could remember.

It was said that one day, a group of valiant heroes would rise up against the warlock and vanquish him, freeing their world of his tyranny once and for all.

Though, many began to lose hope in this prophecy of legend. So much so, that it eventually became a tale to tell to a child.

Nobody believed in such things any more. Not in this world.

Not while the vile spellcaster walked among the living, taking everything from them.

That was, until these six sisters decided it was time to end the darkness.

No more would this evil warlock destroy homes and crops in fire, raise the dead and torture innocents, and steal poor women away in the night for his abhorred spells.

They were the heroes the legend told of. The six warriors of light.

These warriors of light took up arms, trekking across the dismal lands, trudging ever closer to the warlock in his twisted tower, facing all the corruption he had caused along the way, freeing the lands from his clutches.

When they arrived at his tower, he was so bold to exclaim that he had lured them into a trap, and would kill them, or he die trying.

The ladies of light said they would not fall by his hands - that was not how the legend went.

And they were right.

The battle was long and hard fought, but by their powers combined,

They were able to slay the vile warlock, permanently freeing their world. His dark magic melted from the lands, the light returned, and the people were happy.

It is said that a new age will bring another bout of darkness, and six more sisters will be chosen to fight off this evil.”

* * *

As Mauve had told this story, they had gathered in a fort built by Violet, Lilac attempting to help to the best of her ability.

The girls slowly began to smile again, safe within the confines of their little world. Afterward, Plum set up her Switch after finding an outlet that worked, thankfully, and they played Mario Kart late into the night, eventually falling asleep, surrounded by love.

* * *

The next morning the girls were awoken by hunger pains - 

\- They hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning.

“I don’t think he’s awake yet, it’s far too early.” Lilac said, looking at the time on her phone.

“And far too fuckin’ early for me to be awake.” Plum groaned, sitting up, “A bitch is big hungie, though.”

“You seem to be doing better, Plumsweet.” Violet yawned.

“Eh.”

“How is your cheek, Magenta?” Lavender went to the groggy girl. She was rubbing the sleep from her eyes, “It’s sore. But I’ll be ok.”

“Are you sure?”

Magenta nodded slightly.

“Plum, Mags, did you see anything we could eat in there?” Lilac asked.

“I _ think _ I saw some pancake mix? But I didn’t check the date. _ However, _ you won’t _ believe _what I saw in the fridge.” Plum snickered.

“Oh, do tell.” Mauve said, leaning on her elbows.

Plum scrambled over to Mauve excitedly, getting into her “comedian” position,

“Didja know that _ salad _ can grow mold? I did _ not _know that - interesting stuff.”

Lilac blinked at her, and Magenta nodded, remembering how gross it looked.

“There were also some peas that I think became sentient at one point and then died?” Plum acted. Mauve snorted, and Violet smiled softly.

“Y’know _ rice _can grow mold, too?” Plum said softly at first, “It was blue. Looked like playdough.” She continued a little louder. She then looked off into the distance with a dreamy face,

“Nature is amazing.”

The other girls giggled at their sister before exiting the attic door.

Violet peeked down the stairs, looking into the living room.

There were empty bottles scattered about the room. The troupe was gone, and Count Olaf was nowhere to be seen.

“Let’s consider ourselves lucky that they aren’t here.” Lavender noted. Lilac nodded.

They quietly crept down the stairs and into the kitchen, Violet picking up the empty bottles and setting them in the trash.

“I’m guessing disgusting bastard pedo man is sleeping or hungover or someshit.” Plum hissed, looking through the cupboard, taking out the pancake mix and staring at the date,

“Yeah, shit’s expired.”

“Oof.” Magenta responded.

“_ Oof _ is right, Maggie.” Plum agreed, “There’s gotta be _ something _in this bitch we can consume. I don’t feel like starving to death, here.”

“I found some canned foods?” Lilac helped, “They’re fruit, too. Not expired.”

“Oh thank _ fuck.” _Mauve sighed, “What kind of fruit?”

“Peaches… pineapple… Oh, these are the olives we didn’t use.” Lilac said, placing the cans beside her.

“Good enough. Can opener?” Lavender asked, picking up the can of pineapple.

“‘In a drawer by the fridge.” Magenta said softly.

Violet went to said drawer and pulled out the can opener.

Magenta then felt a lightbulb in her head go off,

“The pudding I made! I left it in the fridge-”

Before she could get another word out, Plum scrambled to the fridge, threw open the door, and there it was.

She, Mauve, Lilac, and Magenta breathed a sigh of relief.

At least they had _ something _they wanted.

The girls then ate the canned fruits and chocolate pudding, deciding they’d have to do whatever they could to survive this.

Others were already plotting something to permanently solve the problem.

This was a solution that Violet possibly would not like.

As they finished up, they heard the stairs creak. The sisters froze, staring at the kitchen doorway.

“Ah, up so early, my darling little ladies? Excellent.” Olaf cooed, “I have some news for you, please, to the dining room.”

* * *

The Baudelaires sat around the end of the dining table, staring at Olaf in various negative ways.

Whether that was disgust, fear, or anger, it was surely negative.

“Now, my little pets,” He droned, and Lilac felt as if she was going to scream and vomit, “I fear I may have been a tad… standoffish toward you.”

Violet glowered at him. Mauve made a sarcastic noise.

‘Standoffish’ was definitely not the word the writer would have used for this man.

Perhaps… ‘degenerate idiot bastard’, but not ‘standoffish’.

“So, I have decided that you have the gracious opportunity to aid me in my performance in the coming days - a play written by Al Funcoot!” Olaf continued, ignoring the girls reactions, “It is called… _ The Marvelous Marriage!” _

Lilac raised an eyebrow, “I’ve never heard of such a play or playwright.”

Mauve glared at Olaf as her sister said this, already knowing what he was trying to plan.

“Of course you haven’t - the poor man enjoys a life of simple luxuries, enjoys living… quietly.” Olaf gave a wicked, toothy grin.

“Bitchass be lyin’ out of his fuckin’ ass.” Plum muttered under her breath, causing Magenta to giggle quietly. Olaf shot a cold look in their direction.

Plum gave him a daring look.

“Now, each of you will be given some _ very _important parts. You two -” He pointed to Lavender and Magenta, “Will play the jealous friends of the bride.”

They stared at him.

He then pointed to Violet and Mauve, “You two will play the jealous bridesmaids.”

Their faces twisted into confusion and disgust.

He pointed to Plum, “You will play the one who tries to kill the bride.”

Plum snorted loudly.

“And you, my dear girl,” Olaf said, leaning close to Lilac, placing a gentle hand on her chin, to which she sat frozen in fear, Mauve and Plum immediately grabbing onto their chairs in anger, “Will be playing the gorgeous woman whom I _ marry. _”

“I’m going to THROW UP.” Plum shouted. Olaf snapped his head to her direction,

“And that’s why you’ll be playing your part.” He grinned, “Though, I _ could _switch your parts, granted you prove your worth to me, my precious little pet.”

Plum felt her blood run cold and sunk into her chair. Mauve moved closer to her sister, scowling at the pedophiliac man.

Violet shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

_ We… we NEED to do SOMETHING… _

“Now, run along, I’ll be needing you to cut some firewood in the back yard. Do be careful - I wouldn’t want any splinters on my prized players.” Olaf laughed to himself softly before exiting the room.

The girls sat in silence for a few moments, exchanging some knowing glances.

“We need to do… we need to do _something_.” Lavender whispered, looking fearfully at Lilac. Violet swallowed.

“...It’s just a _ play, _ right? He’s not going to actually… _ do _ anything... _ right? _” Lilac worried pathetically, her voice cracking.

Mauve clenched her jaw tightly,

“I know _ exactly _what he’s trying to do, but I’ll need to put some teeth into it.”

“What… What do you mean, Mauve?” Violet asked her.

“We’re going back to Justice Strauss’s. I need to find a book that’ll further prove my point.” Mauve leaned back into her chair, crossing her arms.


	6. Points, Plots, and Plot Points

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls realize a few things - including an unfortunate ultimatum they must follow through with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contact me uwu: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

The other Baudelaire girls followed Mauve back to Justice Strauss’s, who opened the door quickly upon the doorbell ring. The woman was now in normal clothing, without her powdered wig. She looked at the girls in pleasant surprise,

“Why, Baudelaires! It’s so nice of you to visit again.” She then saw the negative looks in their eyes, “...Whatever seems to be the matter?”

Mauve swallowed, “Do you have any books on nuptial law.”

Justice Strauss blinked at the fiction writer, “Well, of course, but for what reason?”

“I’ve got a bad feeling about a play Count Olaf is wanting us to… be a part of.” Mauve answered, hissing.

“Oh, goodness, a play? You’ll find that on the far wall right over there - but a play? That sounds wonderful!” Strauss replied.

“...Not at all.” Lilac whimpered.

“We have our suspicions that Olaf will try to marry Lilac… for real.” Lavender let out. Justice Strauss gawked at the girl,

“Oh, my God! I certainly  _ hope  _ not!”

“I mean, he’s been acting very  _ predatory  _ towards us, Justice Strauss.” Plum growled, “I’d rather see him dead than-” Violet grabbed her shoulder.

“P-please, call me Jane - and… he… has?” The woman said fearfully. Mauve had already moved passed her and to the wall she had motioned to, scanning the books carefully.

Magenta gave a small pathetic noise.

“You have no  _ fucking  _ idea.” Plum said angrily.

The judge placed a hand over her mouth, “G-girls… I hope that isn’t true…”

Mauve rolled her eyes, “I’m hoping it’s not, either. There’s no way in  _ hell  _ I’m letting that pedophiliac  _ fuck  _ marry Lilac.” She called, her voice dripping with hatred. She plucked out a book that was conveniently titled ‘ _ Nuptial Law’.  _

“God above, I assure you, if that’s the case… I’ll try my best to help you, alright, girls?” Justice Jane Strauss announced to them.

For some reason, the girls doubted this, but they were happy to hear that the judge cared.

* * *

As Mauve and Violet looked through the book, Olaf was gazing at them through an odd spyglass in his dark tower. The vile man grit his teeth, shoving the spyglass into his worn pants pocket, “Nuptial… law… Baldy-” He called to his henchman not far off, “What does nuptial mean?”

The man shrugged. Olaf rolled his eyes, grabbing a dictionary nearby. He flipped through it, eventually coming to said word, then let out a low growl,

“I don’t  _ think  _ so.”

He then threw the dictionary at the bald man, who scrambled to catch it, and made his way out of the tower.

Back in Strauss’s library, Violet sighed, “This book is… incredibly boring.” Mauve snorted,

“I’ve read shit like this just to make sure my writing is accurate - this book is almost a cake walk compared to what I’ve read in the past.”

Violet looked at her sister in surprise,

“You’ve never told me you’ve done that.”

“You didn’t care to ask.” Mauve replied simply. Violet felt a twinge of guilt.

“I… I’m sorry about that.”

Mauve smirked at her, “Don’t even worry about it.”

A few minutes later, Olaf burst into the library, dawning much ‘nicer’ clothes than he usually wore,

“ _ There’s  _ where my  _ darling  _ daughters went!” He called, feigning sweetness. The Baudelaires jumped at his sudden entrance, and Strauss gulped.

“A-ah! Count Olaf, what a surprise! I suppose the girls didn’t tell you they were visiting me, again?” She said shakily, grabbing onto Lilac’s shoulder. The girl was shivering.

“No, no - and how  _ naughty  _ of them for not doing so, yes? Though, I’m sure some light reading would help them brush up on acting, they  _ really  _ must come back with me to focus on rehearsals, yes?” The disgusting man cooed. Mauve stared him down, hoping he’d catch fire right then.

“R-rehearsals?” Justice Strauss asked carefully. She glanced at Lavender, who gave her a look. Strauss laughed slightly, “Well, I didn’t know they would be… in a play-!”

Olaf grinned, “And how funny - I have a part that would be  _ perfect  _ for you, Justice Strauss!” He said, waltzing over to the judge, “You see, the  _ Marvelous Marriage  _ needs someone to play the part of the judge - and wouldn’t you know it -  _ you’re  _ the perfect fit!”

Mauve hid the book under her hoodie.

Justice Strauss gave a nervous giggle, “Well, I  _ don’t  _ think I’d be up for the part, you see, I’ve got  _ quite  _ the bit of stage fright-”

“ _ Nonsense!”  _ Olaf called over her objections, “You’ll do  _ beautifully!  _ I certainly won’t take no for an answer. Now, come along, girls. There’s much for us to talk about.”

He then grabbed onto Lilac, yanking her away. Plum quickly moved to a terrified Lilac and removed his hand. The man glared at the girls. The other Baudelaire sisters got up as well, Mauve giving Strauss a knowing glance.

All the woman could do was watch the putrid man take the sisters away.

* * *

Once they returned to the dilapidated mansion, Olaf threw them all in his tower,

“You little  _ brats  _ are going to  _ stay here  _ until opening night, got it?” He hissed darkly.

Violet clenched her jaw, “And when is THAT?”

Olaf gave a sick grin, “Just a few days away, my little doves. No worries.”

“You’re going to trap us here for  _ days?”  _ Lavender gasped, “What are we going to eat? And-!”

Olaf rolled his eyes, “My henchpeople will keep an  _ eye  _ on you. Don’t worry your pretty little heads over it.”

Lilac and Magenta began to sob. The abhorred man smiled, taking in their misery,

“Now… don’t cause too much trouble…  _ or there will be consequences.”  _ He smized. Olaf then descended down the ladder, slamming the trap door shut. They heard a lock.

“That’s  _ fucking  _ it.” Plum hissed darkly, “I’ve had  _ enough -  _ we’re finding a way out of here, and we’re going to kill him - I don’t fucking  _ care  _ what it takes.”

Mauve nodded, taking out the book, “I’ve read  _ just  _ enough from this book to know what he’s up to - and it’s not good.”

Violet looked at her, “Well..?”

“ _ Well,  _ he’s going to have Justice Strauss play the part of a judge and possibly bring in a  _ real  _ marriage document - that way he can marry his…” Mauve gagged, “ _ Favorite,  _ that way the he’ll have control over our fortune.”

Lilac continued to cry miserably, Magenta clinging to her. Lavender quickly went to their side and attempted to comfort them.

“...And then once we come of age… he’ll have the fortune and…” Mauve stopped.

Plum was fuming by now,

“ _ I don’t care what it FUCKING takes - we’re going to find a way to kill him.” _

Violet glared at her, “And THEN what? Run? Where would we go!? What would we-”

Mauve cut her off,

“Like we said earlier…  _ we’ll make it look like an accident.”  _ She sing-songed.

Lilac wiped her eyes,

“Nobody will listen to us,” She breathed, “I bet… I bet that’s what will happen…”

“Justice Strauss listened to us..!” Violet argued.

“But did she actually do anything when he dragged us away?” Magenta whispered through tears.

Violet bit her lip.

“Exactly.” Plum said angrily. Mauve threw the book to the floor and went to her sister’s side. Plum smiled at her, then looking to the rest of her sisters,

“ _ And that’s why we’ll be taking care of the situation ourselves. _ ”

All Violet could do was nod.

Plum had gone into the first stages of her fully enraged state. Her sisters knew exactly what was in store for Olaf.

And he definitely wasn’t going to survive it.


	7. Planning By Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Baudelaire sisters begin to plan their final confrontation with the disgusting pedophile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contact me uwu: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/
> 
> Sorry for the shorter chapter... though... I'll definitely make it up the next one... 👀

“That window can easily be broken. He’s bound to leave sooner or later. We can use various things in here as makeshift weapons. Sound good?” Plum said carefully. Mauve and Lavender nodded. Violet only sighed. Magenta and Lilac shivered in a corner of the room.

“The axe in the backyard - I’ll use that.” Mauve remembered.

“...I’ll be able to make some molotov cocktails with some of the unfinished whisky bottle I saw downstairs.” Violet said quickly, tying her hair up.

Mauve put her hair up as well, “Excellent idea - we can kill him and burn the house down with him in it - we’ll make it look like the stove exploded or something.”

Lilac made a desperate noise.

“...That’s definitely ironic, given how our parents and all our stuff went.” Magenta said pathetically.

Plum gave a menacing grin, “Let’s call it karma.” Lilac gasped softly,

“P-Plum..!”

Mauve cornered her eyes, “Lilac, I don’t want to imagine what he’d do to you once he’d gotten his hands on you, and quite frankly, let’s _ not _ imagine that,” She grit her teeth, “Or _ I’ll _end up going full feral, too.”

Plum shook her finger, “‘Haven’t gone _ full feral _yet, sis! Getting close, though!” She cackled.

Lavender knitted her brows together, “You’re one twisted sister.”

All Plum did was giggle even more. Magenta let out a shaky sigh.

They decided they’d wait until Olaf went off to do whatever, and for the bald man to stand watch at the trap door.

It took a while, but eventually, at nightfall, Olaf got into his run-down car and sped off. Of course, he left the bald man next in the cycle of henchpeople to stand watch.

Lavender took a vase and filled it with various heavy objects, “I hope Olaf didn’t touch our stuff.” She grumbled, thinking about her guitar.

“He probably cares more about us than our stuff.” Lilac said quietly.

“He also made the mistake of keeping us together.” Violet said, finding a heavy enough mannequin head to break the window, “We can use the glass from this window as well.”

“I don’t want to kill anyone else.” Magenta squeaked, “Olaf is fine… but…”

“Bald man needs to die. ‘Gives me bad vibes. The others will just take some good scaring, I’m sure.” Mauve interrupted.

“I’m sure once their ‘boss’ is down, they’ll scatter.” Plum agreed, eyeing a suitcase nearby. She walked over to it while Lavender heaved the heavy vase to the backside of the trap door.

The feral sister lifted the lid of the suitcase to reveal an incredibly sharp knife. She started to slowly cackle as her eyes glittered wildly.

“...Uh oh.” Lilac breathed, looking in Plum’s direction.

Violet looked at her, “Plumsweet… what did you find?”

The girl lifted up the sharp object in her hand, “_ A _ ** _KNIFE!_ ** _ ” _

_ “NO!” _Mauve mocked, cackling. Violet swallowed nervously.

“Hey, before we burn the place down, let’s stash our shit in the shed in the backyard.” Mauve said.

“Oh, mostly definitely.” Lavender replied, “Lilac, do you mind helping me with this smaller scheme?”

Lilac only sighed, “Sure. Why not. Our life of crime begins now, I suppose.” She then got up, going over to her sister.

Violet nodded, “Once you two are in position, I’ll knock on the trap door and he’ll poke his idiotic head in, then you two drop that.” She placed a finger on her chin, “That should knock him out. Plum can stab him, then.”

Mauve grumbled, “_ I _wanted to stab him.”

“You’ll have a chance to stab someone, we all will. Preferably Olaf, I’m sure.” Violet eyed her sister. She only shrugged in disappointment.

“Anyways, get ready.” Violet looked at Lavender and Lilac. They both nodded.

Violet then gave three heavy pounds to the trapdoor.

“_ Knock it off up there!” _

She did the same again.

“_ Did you even hear what I said? KNOCK IT OFF!” _

Once again.

They heard loud, angry grumbling before Violet jumped back as she heard the bald man climb up the ladder. She motioned to her sisters, and they picked up the heavy vase.

The bald man unlocked the trapdoor and threw it open, poking his head in, a particularly angry look on his face,

He couldn’t even get a word out before Lavender and Lilac threw down the vase on top of his head, then knocking him out, his body tumbling down the ladder. Plum let out a cry of joy before gripping the knife and heading to the tower’s exit, Mauve grabbing a sharp vase shard and following after.

Down below, the white faced women and the person of indeterminate gender were shocked by the sudden event, and had run over to inspect the knocked out bald man.

“** _MOVE IT._ ** _ ” _Plum’s voice came from above. They scrambled quickly backwards, and down jumped the most feral sister of the six, followed by Mauve.

“Now~!” Plum said sweetly, spinning the knife in her hand, “Any and _ all _ wrong decisions _ will _ be rightfully punished. By. _ Me!” _She giggled, pointing a finger at herself. Mauve looked down at the bald man, who they had landed on, (Oof.), and stabbed the shard she had in her hand directly into his chest.

The henchpeople looked on in fear.

Plum glanced back and rolled her eyes, “Alright, or by her. Either way.”

Violet climbed down, then came the other girls.

“What, you thought we were just going to stay in there? And suffer? And wait for Absolute Bastard to bring us to our doom?” Mauve said before laughing, “I’m _ so _ sorry to say that you’re unfortunately _ very _wrong in that case.”

“Now,” Violet said as Magenta nervously peeked from behind her sister, “Either you can leave, and not say a word, or I’ll sick my sisters on you.”

Plum cackled, “Don’t worry, we’ll be taking care of Olaf as soon as he gets back.”

They looked at the girls in abject terror before running for the door.

“Good choice.” Lilac muttered, trying to seem tough.

“Phase two of the plan is a go, girls.” Lavender announced. Plum smiled deviously, “Exactly.”

Violet sighed, “Lilac, do you and Maggie mind helping me with our things?”

Lilac nodded, Magenta sighing.

“This’ll all be over, soon.” Lavender reassured them, “Then we’ll be with our proper guardian.”


	8. Settled In Brimstone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sextuplet sisters settle the score with the disgusting pedophile that is Count Olaf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contact me uwu: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

The hook handed man hid in the kitchen, watching Mauve stab the shard into the bald man’s chest, killing him. The other hench people ran to the door in alarm, squeezing out the door quickly, getting into a dirty looking white van and taking off.

He needed to get out of here, or those girls would _ kill _him. He knew they didn’t deserve any of this, but what was he to do? If he approached them, now, they’d probably kill him right then. He had no choice but to run, so he did.

* * *

The back door opened and slammed shut. Plum’s attention snapped toward the noise,

“Did the bastard bitch come back through the front door?” She hissed. Lilac began to shiver again.

“Quit shivering, Li. You’ll get last hit on him.” Mauve said gently. Lilac only nodded.

Plum stepped quickly to where the back door was, only to see the area empty. “Then what the fuck-?” Plum began.

“The man with the hooks,” Magenta squeaked, “I didn’t see him… I didn’t see him with the others so he must’ve left that way.”

Plum made an irritated noise and Mauve shrugged.

“The less we have to deal with the better, quite honestly.” Violet managed, “Now after we move our things out, I’ll find any leftover alcohol and spread it around the place, then use whatever’s left over to make molotov cocktails.”

Lavender nodded. Plum smiled, “Good deal, sis.”

Violet, Magenta, and Lilac then quickly worked to move they and their sister’s belongings to the shed outside, packing up whatever was left laying out. It didn’t look as if Olaf had looked through or taken anything, thankfully.

Plum and Mauve kept a lookout - he hadn’t returned yet. They wanted it to stay that way. Lavender brought in the axe from the backyard and handed it to Mauve, who smirked, weighing it in her hands.

Violet then shattered one of the windows with one of the kitchen pans. She picked up a large piece and examined it, Magenta looked at her curiously. Violet glanced at her soft, quiet sister, then wrapped the bottom-most part of the shard in a torn curtain piece, handing it to her. 

“Here, Maggie,” Violet said, “Your makeshift weapon - be careful, alright, sweetheart?”

Magenta looked at the shard carefully.

“I… I don’t kn-know…”

“You’ll be fine. I wrapped it well enough. You’re safe.” Violet reassured her.

Magenta only nodded before taking the shard. She looked at her faint reflection in it.

_ Oh. _

Violet found various bottles around the dirty mansion - both half empty and nearly empty. Two full wine bottles - just their luck.

She came upon a closet in the back room, and upon opening it - 

“...A pistol?” Violet whispered to herself, picking it up carefully. She checked it - it had ammo, though only a few bullets left. Good enough.

She thought for a moment.

“Lilac, sweetheart?”

Lilac jumped at the noise from Mauve’s side,

“Y-yes, sister?”

Violet walked quickly through the rooms to the foyer where the two dangerous girls and Lilac stood,

“Use this.”

Lilac stared at Violet, her jaw agape,

“Y-you… you can’t be _ serious, _Violet!”

“Just take it. Please.” Violet held it out to her. Lilac swallowed hard before shakily taking it. She looked at it for a moment, “I don’t know how much kickback it has but I… I’ll try.”

Plum giggled, and Mauve gave a reassuring smirk.

Violet only nodded before returning to her own work.

“Now,” Plum announced, “Once the place has been wet down and those cocktails made - he’s got matches..?”

Violet cornered her eyes, “I found some while searching for bottles.”

“Epic. Cool. Ok. Anyways - and he’s come back, we corner him and slaughter his ass, use his body as kindling, light the place up, and get the hell out of here.” Plum continued, “Make sure his body is burnt to ashes.”

“...Is that possible?” Magenta whispered.

Violet scoffed, “The fire would have to be _ very _ hot for that, Plumsweet, you _ know _that.”

“Do I?” She mocked.

Violet grit her teeth, “I’ll try to make it _ burn, _then.”

“Good answer, sis.” Mauve grinned. Violet only huffed, exhausted, but knew exactly what she had to do.

Burn it.

Burn it all.

Including the man who threatened their innocence.

Burn it as hot as she possibly could.

Plum smiled darkly at her sister’s realization, “When you fight fire with fire…”

“...You can happily watch the pedophiles burn.” Mauve said, crossing her arms.

Violet sighed.

Of course.

* * *

Olaf pulled into the driveway of the rundown mansion, a good feeling in his gut.

Getting out, he clutched official marriage papers from city hall. He strutted up to the front door, not noticing the white van was gone.

“I _ do _ hope my _ darling _little Baudelaire ladies have been treated well, yes..?” Olaf said loudly as he swung the door open, only to be met with no henchpeople,

And six, very angry, _ very _ ready teenage girls.

Olaf blinked, his mouth going dry.

“...Wh-”

Violet held a molotov cocktail in both hands. Lilac pointed the pistol at his chest. Magenta gripped the glass shard. Plum grinned wildly, pointing the dagger at him, staring him down with one, wide open, wild eye. Mauve had the axe resting over her shoulder.

Lavender held a box of matches.

Olaf gave a horrible grin,

“Oh… how you’ve lived up to your parents’ ideals, yes?” He began to laugh. The teens didn’t move.

They didn’t know what he meant by that, nor did they care at this moment in time.

All they knew was what they had to do.

* * *

[[Music]](https://youtu.be/-uHgo7_ZtXs)

_ Hello there my _**_enemy_**_  
_ _Welcome to my _**_punching spree_**_  
_ _This is where I lay waste and you go home _**_bleeding_**_  
_ _Didn't have to be this way__  
_ _Should have stayed out of the fray__  
_ _Now you're heading for a _**_beating_**

Lilac didn’t waste any time in shooting the pistol, though the sudden jolt knocked her aim off, it firing into his stomach instead of his chest. Olaf yelled out in surprise at the sudden shot, toppling over onto his hands and knees, clutching at his belly,

“You stupid little BITCH, you can’t even _ SHOOT CORRECTLY _-”

“** _SHUT THE FUCK UP._ **” Mauve screamed, then running forward, holding the axe up in both hands.

_ Didn't mother _**_warn you?_**_  
_ _Now she's gonna mourn you__  
_ _Being damaged's how you'll end this day__  
_ _You're a _**_big mess_**_  
_ **_'Cause I'm relentless_**_  
_ _I gotta tell you I'm on _**_fire_** today

The writer then swung the axe down onto his shoulder with all her strength, severing his arm. Blood splattered onto the floor as he screamed out in agony. Plum began to cackle wildly.

_ Crash and burn (crash and burn)__  
_ _Some lessons are just _**_hard to learn_**_  
_ _Scathing eyes (scathing eyes)__  
_ **_That see things from only one side_**_  
_ _Yet every misshapen spark__  
_ **_Suffers the judgment and pain_**_  
_ _But just as _**_light conquers dark_**_  
_ **_There's a beauty that's greater than pure symmetry can contain_**_  
_ _So let's _**_start the game!_**

** “**Holy fuck, Plum ‘n’ Mauve have gone nutso…” Lavender said, watching.

Plum glanced at her sister and winked, “You ain’t seen NOTHIN’ yet, sis~!” She giggled, then lunging forward. Lilac began to fiddle with the pistol. Violet shook her head. Plum’s blade stabbed into the back of the dirty man, she then lifting it up and beginning to stab a few more times, causing him to completely fall to the floor.

_ Fool you shouldn't stare into these _**_eyes of fire_**_  
_ _You're goin' to _**_regret this little fight_**_  
_ _You don't wanna mess with me__  
_ **_I'm something higher_**_  
_ _Anguish you'll know for your _**_miserable plight_**_  
_ _Soon you'll bemoan your _**_mistake of a life_**_  
_ _You'll watch yourself _**_suffer_**_  
_ _You'll watch me _**_IGNITE!_**

_  
_ _“_**_PLUM!_**” Violet called, then looking to Lilac, “Listen, hold the pistol tightly in your hand like this-” She explained as Plum pulled out the bloody knife,

“WhAaAaAat? I was just having _ fun. _” She groaned, kicking the bastard in the side of his head in defiance. Lilac held the gun carefully, just as Violet told her. Olaf let out a few sputtered gasps, coughing up blood.

_ Usually, I devastate__  
_ **_This time I'd annihilate_**_  
_ _Any minute now, you're gonna_**_ rue our meeting_**_  
_ **_Messin' with my family_**_  
_ **_Means that soon, you're history_**__  
The moments of your life are fleeting

Magenta walked forward, looking at the shard, then lifting it to her side. Lavender watched her sister carefully, and Plum looked at her, grinning. The artist fell to her knees, looking at the pedophile’s horrible, pale face.

She then squeezed her eyes shut as she then slashed the pedophile across the face, blinding him. Olaf let out an awful, anguished scream, causing her to quickly stumble back, dropping the now bloody shard.

_ Looking pretty tattered__  
_ **_Your blood is really splattered_**_  
_ _Won't be long until I _**_end this game_**_  
_ _You're looking toothless__  
_ **_I'm feeling ruthless_**_  
_ **_Watch me burn as you go down in flames_**

Lilac slowly readied the pistol, aiming at the now heavily bleeding, agonized man. She fired, this time hitting the target directly in the head. He then became quiet. Violet breathed in deeply, looking to Lavender, who nodded.

“He’s… he’s dead.” Magenta whispered, “We… we killed… him.”

Lavender then lit a match, throwing it onto Olaf’s still body.

_ Ache and yearn (ache and yearn)__  
_ _And wait for the pages to turn__  
_ **_Play both sides_**_ (scathing eyes)__  
_ **_The truth you could not recognize_**_  
_ _As any remarkable heart__  
_ **_Has gone through the hardship and shame_**_  
_ _That’s born of standing apart__  
_ _From the easily processed, the uniform army of same__  
_ **_And that’s just so lame!_**

“_ Exactly. _” Plum laughed, “And he deserved this, no matter whatever has happened to his STUPID ASS.” She shouted at the top of her lungs, watching his body alight.

Lavender then lit another match, Violet carefully holding the cloth of the molotov cocktails over the flame.

_ I dominate, desecrate, _**_leave you in a foul state_**_  
_ _Put you in the _**_trash_**_ with that _**_nonsense you perpetuate_**_  
_ _Why’d you get me _**_riled up?_** **_Don’t you know I’m wild, bruh?_**__  
Bet you’ll understand when I’m pissing on your ashes, son

Violet then turned, looking at the burning body before her. Lavender and Magenta ran out to the backyard.

_  
_ _Told you I’m torturous when you feel the force of this blast__  
_ _You’ll crash like a cardiac explosion, _**_bitch_**_  
_ _Bloody body, broken nose, _**_screw it it's a bloodbath_**_  
_ _Try to get away but _**_there’s no escaping Alcatraz_**

Lilac lowered the pistol, looking at the dead pedophile for a few seconds, staring at the burning flame. She sighed, then turning to follow her sisters.

_  
_ _Look what you made me do, _**_told you I would slaughter you_**_  
_ _Fools you lose, blood cold, ice water dude__  
_ _Reach into my bag of tricks, _**_hit you with the baddest licks ever_**_  
_ **_You’ll never contend, I win_**

Plum was laughing wildly. Mauve was grinning, watching the flames,

“He won’t touch any of my sisters, now, that’s for fuckin’ sure.” She cackled.

_  
_ _Bringing out the _**_beast in me_**_, _**_challenging my decency_**_  
_ _Now I gotta ask: _**_do you really want a piece of me?_**_  
_ _Hope you're ready for the pain, _**_suffer when I hit your brain_**_  
_ **_Erase your essence from Earth, no need to explain_**

Violet sighed before throwing down the cocktails onto Olaf’s body, the fire then erupting into a great, wild flame. As it began to quickly spread to the wetted parts of the mansion, the remaining sisters ran to the backyard.

_ Fool you shouldn't stare into these _**_eyes of fire_**_  
_ _You're goin' to regret this little fight__  
_ _You don't wanna mess with me__  
_ **_I'm something higher_**_  
_ _Anguish you'll know for your _**_miserable plight_**_  
_ **_Soon you'll bemoan your mistake of a life_**_  
_ _You'll watch yourself _**_suffer_**_  
_ **_You'll watch me IGNITE!_**

* * *

The Baudelaire Sextuplets stood together in the far end of the backyard, watching the mansion burn. Plum, Mauve, and Lilac hid their weapons in their things. Lavender chucked the matches at the burning house.

After a few minutes they each sat down, Lavender hugging tightly to Magenta, who was looking nervously at Plum. By now, she and Mauve had calmed down. Mauve had returned to her normal, moody face. Plum patted at her knees.

After a while, Violet got up and lead them into the shed. They’d hide in there until the fire department came. Their alibi: They’d been sentenced to live in the shed, all their things shoved in there. Olaf was never careful. They were surprised with the sudden fire.

When the fire department arrived, they were found huddled together in the shed. Rescued.

Olaf and his home had burnt up, no trace of his body (Or others.) or the cause was found. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Mr. Poe attempted to feel sorry for them, but…

“Children, I just _ knew _ that man wasn’t right for you! His home looked _ abhorred, _ and I could just _ tell _he wasn’t safe!”

Mauve grit her teeth.

“Then why didn’t you _ do _ anything about that?” Violet asked, only _ mildly _irritated.

Poe smiled, “Your parents said they wanted you to go to your _ closest living relative, _and, well, Count Olaf was just that.”

Plum grumbled. Magenta sat silent. Lavender stared straight ahead.

“Well, no matter, now, yes? Now you’ll go to a _proper _guardian! He will be _far _better, I’m sure.”

“The one we were actually _ supposed _to go to?” Lilac growled.

“Yes, yes, well, water under the bridge, girls!” Mr. Poe smiled.

Violet and Mauve gave each other a look.

“...Right… water under the bridge…” Lavender said carefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course, this isn't the end.
> 
> See you in part two. :^)


End file.
